Entries by Gerry North

Personal Unresolved Conflicts and our Partners

The influence of individual internal conflicts is often forgotten in couple counselling. George has been in a relationship with Helen for 15 years. They have great domestic creature comforts, good friends, holiday a bit and like the company of others but deep down there is something amiss. Well maybe the main problem is not about […]

Courage to be Imperfect

You have invited your best friends over for dinner, the entrée is wonderful and so is the main but the apple pie was slightly burnt and you consider the whole dinner party an utter failure. Welcome to the world of a perfectionist. You get upset because your partner fails to make the bed in the […]

5 Tips For Building a Loving Relationship

How many of us have learned how to build loving relationships? Here are 5 tips for building a loving relationship, especially handy when the love bubble bursts after the first 12 months or so.   1. Create a safe environment where you can trust and share openly without being afraid. Don’t interrupt, even if you […]

Alcohol and Depression

When we drink alcohol the party gets going and it all seems great but the ending is not always so. When we begin to drink we get an instant celebratory high but if we keep drinking, drinking and drinking the night can become weird. We can end up having: forgettable sex, shameful behaviours, feelings of […]

Why do some stay in an abusive relationship?

Counsellors seeing clients for couple counselling attempt to maintain hope in the room for the relationship to get back on track. But sometimes we are baffled as to what keeps an individual in a relationship that is clearly an abusive. Abuse comes in many forms physical and emotional. Physical abuse should never be tolerated and […]

Porn addiction or just having fun?

Surely having a good wank over some Internet porn can do us no harm but when does it turn into an unhealthy addiction, where you just can’t stop yourself doing it. It is very easy to become addicted to porn. The brain releases chemicals like serotonin and dopamine during sexual activity and it makes us […]

Attachment styles from childhood

Despite what some self-help or dating advice would lead you to believe, developing healthy emotional attachments with other people leads to greater happiness, productivity, and stability in one’s life. If your childhood was happy and supportive emotionally with parents you will develop a secure attachment style. If parents were critical you are likely to develop […]