We all come across people that really get to us over what they said or did. We also tell ourselves negative stories about ourselves during the day. We could have done this or that! There are times when something happened that we can not understand why it occurred. And what do we do, we churn. Over and over we churn over the events, we take mental positions, work out what we should have said or done. We then set ourselves up to become outraged, angry, bitter and really upset. What follows next is negative behaviour like depression or anxiety.
Churning is just our minds making up stories and presenting negative emotional responses. Churning never ever achieves anything positive so what can you do to stop this mindful obsession? Easy, tell your mind to shut up. You see you are not your mind. As humans you can observe your mind thinking and actually decide what it can think about. There is a gap between you and your mind. That gap allows you to say to your mind – Shut Up.
Training your mind to shut up takes practice but by addressing any useless churning you will become stronger mentally in a very short time. Self talk to tackle churning allows you to get above the upsetting stories your mind is very content to replay continuously, if you allow it to have its way.
There is a difference between consideration and churning. When your mind processes ideas and events it is seeking solutions to move towards insight. Insight is when you feed your brain information about an issue and the brain pops up a solution you feel will work. Mindful consideration is productive but churning never is.
Why not try and stop the churning today. Practice makes perfect. First decide if the stories your mind is playing are either consideration or churning. If it is churning tell your mind to stop. To help this along sing a nursery rhyme like “Mary Had a Little Lamb”. Doing this is a humorous and a positive step to stop the churning. Maybe make up a song about what your mind is churning about.
You are right they should not have said or done that, we do tell ourselves negative stories and certain events should never have happened but life is always moving forward and trapping ourselves in the past does us no favours.
You won’t have to wait long for a negative story to pop up so be ready to tell your mind to just shut up. Maybe even use a swear word if that helps. Take care.
P.S. If you want 3 free lessons to tackle anxiety or depression, that you can do online, send me an email and I will send you the link to the St Vincent’s Anxiety Clinic.