Our human brains become easily addicted to almost anything pleasurable. Our brains move towards perceived pleasure and away from pain. But this natural tendency also can keep us trapped in an endless negative behaviour cycle. Deep down you will know if you are addicted and don’t want to be a slave to it.
LET’S TAKE SEX ADDICTION AS AN EXAMPLE
Let’s face it there is a lot of available sex in the general community from porn sites to constant casual sex encounters.
If you are a true sex addict you will think about sex all the time. One sexual thought spins into a ritual journey until sex is obtained.
The ‘come down’ arrives because your personal values, your belief system and your feelings about your own self-worth, have collided head on. You are also angry for spending too much daily time devoted to one final destination of sex.
If you are a full on addict you are more likely to be addicted to many other things like over exercise, work, drugs, alcohol, gambling and travelling fast. There is a deep need to keep moving so the brain can not sit with any unhealed pain or repeating negative mind stories.
I had someone recently come to see me who fixed his sex compulsion in record time. He saw his sex compulsion at odds with his held self-image. He saw himself as not being the person doing it. The person craving the sex was the shadow side of his character that was contravening his held belief system. He is now fully reunited with his partner, family and friends, as he no longer holds the big secret that kept him apart from real life.
Clients who come to see me about sex or other addictions have already tried to give up but failed so we will not be talking about what has failed. We will be talking about the total scenario around the addiction.
The problem is the problem and you are not the problem.
Gerry is a member of the Australian Counselling Association
